My Cave of Wonders

Ask me anything   Submit   I put stuff here I find a) Funny b) Interesting c) Fucking amazing.

Questions with no answers

Ganondorf:I hunger. You two, fetch me something to eat.
Zant:.....Wait, us?
Ganondorf:Yes, so go get me some food and be quick about it!
Ghirahim:Right away, master.



Zant:So. Quick question.
Ghirahim:Yes?
Zant:What is food?
Ghirahim:W-What...?
Ghirahim:DAMN, THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO ASK YOU!
Zant:HUH?! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT FOOD IS EITHER?
Ghirahim:I'm a freaking sword, I don't eat anything! What the hell is your excuse?!
Zant:I'm Twili, I just get all my sustenance from the Twilight!
Ghirahim:So NONE of us know what food is? Damn, Ganondorf will kill us!
Zant:Wait, let's think about this. We're both perfectly capable people, we can figure this out.
Ghirahim:Okay so food is something you "eat" right?
Zant:So in other words.... food is something that's "edible".
Ghirahim:....So what's edible?
Zant:.......
Zant:((Lies down on the floor))
Ghirahim:What are you doing?
Zant:Accepting my death.
Ghirahim:COME ON MAN! YOU CAN'T GIVE UP YET!
Zant:Wait hang on, didn't you serve a master who would of eaten food?
Ghirahim:Demise? He liked to catch and eat his own meals so I'm unsure what he ate....
Zant:Come on, you have to have seen SOMETHING he ate!
Ghirahim:Uh, I remember he killed this white thing and he roasted it over a fire....?
Zant:Like, that white thing over there?
Cucco:((Waddles about))
Ghirahim:YES, THAT'S IT! THAT THING IS FOOD!
Zant:So we just need to kill it and cook it right? We're saved!
Ghirahim:Prepare to die, small white fowl!
Ghirahim:((Attacks the cucco))
Zant:For the horde!
Zant:((Also attacks the cucco))



Zant:RUN FASTER DUDE, HURRY UP!
Ghirahim:DO YOU THINK I WOULDN'T BE RUNNING AS FAST AS I CAN IN THIS SITUATION?!
Zant:WHAT SORT OF POWER DID YOUR OLD MASTER HAVE, TO TRY AND FIGHT SUCH A CREATURE?
Ghirahim:NO MORE TALKING, ONLY RUNNING NOW!
Zant:OH GOD WHY IS THIS ONE GOLD?!
Golden Cucco:((Slams into Zant's face))
Ghirahim:ZANT NO!
Zant:SAVE ME, SAVE MEEABLLLARRGGGHHHHH!
System message:Cucco forces have defeated Zant!
Ghirahim:ZAAAANNNNNTTTT!



Ganondorf:You have finally returned, and yet I see you are empty handed?
Ghirahim:M-My apologies master but a crisis has arised! Enemy forces have already defeated Zant!
Ganondorf:What?! Hyrulean forces have infiltrated the stronghold?!
Ghirahim:No, it's even worse than that! It's-
???:COCK A DOODLE DO!
Ghirahim:OH GOD THEY'RE ALREADY HERE!
Cuccos:((Break down the door and swarm in through the windows))
Ghirahim:CUCCOS! CUCCOS!
Ganondorf:Are you kidding me? They're just chickens, how hard can they be to fight?!



Ganondorf:EVERY LAST DEMON KING FOR THEMSELVES!
Ghirahim:WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF US?!
Ganondorf:((Throws Ghirahim into the swarm of cuccos))
Ganondorf:SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR YOUR MASTER!
Ghirahim:FUUUUUUUU-BLLRAGGHHHH
System message:Cucco forces have defeated Ghirahim!



Impa:So, we'll move half our forces over this ridge towards-
Soldier:Emergency, emergency!
Zelda:What is it?
Soldier:It's Ganondorf, he's coming this way!
Impa:Impossible, no army could move so quickly!
Soldier:No, it's JUST Ganondorf but he's plowing through our forces by himself!
Zelda:Is this the might of the Triforce of Power...?
Ganondorf:((Busts through a wall))
Soldier:OH GOD HE'S ALREADY HERE!
Impa:Back, fiend!
Ganondorf:IF I'M GOING TO DIE THEN I'M TAKING ALL OF YOU WITH ME!
Zelda:What?
Proxi:We're here!
Link:((Kicks Ganondorf in the back of the head))
Ganondorf:SON OF A-... Perfect, we'll all die here together!
Zelda:What are you even talking about?
Soldier:Wait, something's coming this way! It's.... It's-
Cuccos:COCK A DOODLE DOO!
Soldier:AHHH! CUCCOS! CUCCBLLLARRGGGHHH
System message:Cucco forces have defeated Hyrulean Captain!
Zelda:WHAT THE HELL?! DID YOU RUN ALL THIS WAY HERE JUST TO HAVE US KILLED BY CUCCOS?!
Ganondorf:YES!
Zelda:....Hey, you.
Impa:We're surrounded, what should we do?
Zelda:Impa....
Zelda:((Places her hands on Impa's shoulders))
Impa:Yes?
Zelda:SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR YOUR PRINCESS!
Zelda:((Shoves Impa into the cucco swarm))
Impa:FUUUUUUUUUUU-
System message:Cucco forces have defeated Impa!
Zelda:Quick, let's escape while the cucco's are distracted!
Proxi:We can't, there's a golden cucco blocking our exit!
Golden Cucco:C̶̢͘O͜C͝͝K̨̢͜ ̡͝A̸͢ ͜͜Ḑ͜͢OO̶D̵̢LE ҉̡ḐÒ̧Ơ͘
Ganondorf:I DON'T WANT TO DIE AGAIN, I JUST CAME BACK TO LIFE!
Zelda:No wait, we have all three pieces of the Triforce here! We can use it's power to save ourselves!
Proxi:Let's do that then!
Zelda:By our powers combined....
Ganondorf:WE ARE CAPTAIN PLANET!






Ganondorf:OH DEAR GOD THE CUCCOS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE TRIFORCE!
Zelda:WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT THE HELL?!
Proxi:Welp, this is it buddy.
Link:?
Proxi:SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR YOUR FAIRY!
Link:!
Proxi:((Flies away and abandons everyone))
Link:((Flips Proxi the finger on both hands while being consumed by the swarm of cuccos))
Ganondorf and Zelda:FUUUUUUUUU-
— 1 day ago with 270 notes

fuzzbutt07:

So I competed for Mr. Derby City Cub last night. I had an absolute blast. The theme was superheroes and heroines. My superhero was Thorgi. You can’t see it but there is actually a corgi tail sewn onto the back of the singlet.

— 1 day ago with 89 notes

pardonmewhileipanic:

mordicaifeed:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

regencyduchess:

Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.

THEY’RE ALL JUST STARING AND JUDGING

"How rude…this bodyguard just shoved me!"

I want to be this rich and indifferent one day

(Source: shewolfofengland, via farrahfuckingflawless)

— 1 day ago with 98612 notes
moofrog:

This was bound to happen eventually.

moofrog:

This was bound to happen eventually.

(via professororc)

— 1 day ago with 398 notes
ultrafacts:




Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

ultrafacts:

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

— 1 day ago with 10008 notes
theunderwearbear:

gigaguess:

beardedsaint:

Seth Rogen popping out of a cake is my biggest fantasy. I’m sort of chubbing just thinking of it.

Seth Rogen and Channing Tatum…yes please.

I’d like to supersize my cake to 2 Rogens, hold the Tatum please.

theunderwearbear:

gigaguess:

beardedsaint:

Seth Rogen popping out of a cake is my biggest fantasy. I’m sort of chubbing just thinking of it.

Seth Rogen and Channing Tatum…yes please.

I’d like to supersize my cake to 2 Rogens, hold the Tatum please.

(Source: beccarocks)

— 1 day ago with 827 notes

detrea:

monsieurdangereux:

Diana has no time for your sexist rhetoric.

Sensation Comics Featuring Wonder Woman 05 // Ivan Cohen, marcusto

It’s true, though.

She suffers a severe deficiency of fucks to give.

(Source: jonathannostar)

— 2 days ago with 52875 notes